Monday
Easy Bean Enchilada Casserole
Tuesday
Cheddar Cracker Chicken
Wednesday
Pancakes (per Bailey's request)
Thursday
Southwest Chicken
Friday
Dinner with friends
Saturday
Homemade Pizza
Monday, May 13, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
Meal Plan Monday
Monday
Orange Honey Pork Chops
Tuesday
Dinner Out (maybe Red Robin, I have a free burger there) - we have to go to Charlottesville to pick up Anthony's tux
Wednesday
Spaghetti & Meatballs
Thursday
Jeremy & Carmalita's Wedding!!!
Friday
Southwest Chicken
Saturday
Ham & Cheese Quiche
Orange Honey Pork Chops
Tuesday
Dinner Out (maybe Red Robin, I have a free burger there) - we have to go to Charlottesville to pick up Anthony's tux
Wednesday
Spaghetti & Meatballs
Thursday
Jeremy & Carmalita's Wedding!!!
Friday
Southwest Chicken
Saturday
Ham & Cheese Quiche
Monday, April 22, 2013
Meal Plan Monday
Monday
Make-Ahead Muffin Melts
Tuesday
Dinner @ Mom's -- Anthony has a softball game this evening
Wednesday
Taco Soup
Thursday
Spaghetti & Meatballs
Friday
Beef Burritos
Saturday
Garlic Lemon Pork
Make-Ahead Muffin Melts
Tuesday
Dinner @ Mom's -- Anthony has a softball game this evening
Wednesday
Taco Soup
Thursday
Spaghetti & Meatballs
Friday
Beef Burritos
Saturday
Garlic Lemon Pork
Monday, April 15, 2013
Meal Plan Monday
Monday
Pizza Stuffed Shells
Tuesday
Homemade Pizza (didn't have this last week)
Wednesday
Spaghetti & Meatballs
Thursday
Taco Soup
Friday
Crockpot Cube Steak & Gravy
Saturday
Leftovers/Out to eat w/ gift card??
Pizza Stuffed Shells
Tuesday
Homemade Pizza (didn't have this last week)
Wednesday
Spaghetti & Meatballs
Thursday
Taco Soup
Friday
Crockpot Cube Steak & Gravy
Saturday
Leftovers/Out to eat w/ gift card??
Monday, April 8, 2013
Meal Plan Monday
Monday
Papa John's Pizza
Tuesday
Pork Loin
Wednesday
Might use a Subway gift card, or eat at Mom's before church
Thursday
Pork BBQ Sandwiches
Friday
Homemade Pizza
Saturday
Vicky is coming to visit and bringing us Tokyo!!!
Papa John's Pizza
Tuesday
Pork Loin
Wednesday
Might use a Subway gift card, or eat at Mom's before church
Thursday
Pork BBQ Sandwiches
Friday
Homemade Pizza
Saturday
Vicky is coming to visit and bringing us Tokyo!!!
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Who You Are
I first heard this song probably 3 or 4 months ago, long before we lost Asa. I was going through a trial of sorts at that time. Back in October or November I found out that my most recent pap smear was abnormal. I didn't share this with many people because a lot of what I read and heard told me that this would probably be turn out to be nothing, but of course it was still scary for me thinking of all the "what if's". So I heard this song in the midst of that time and the words "I don't know what You're doing, but I know who You are" really struck me, and I actually cried listening to the song. {Side note: I had a colposcopy and biopsy and everything came back normal.}
Then fast forward a few months. Since losing Asa, I feel like this has been "my song". The one song that has meant the most to me and has really described how I've felt.
"I don't know what You're doing"
I don't really know why God chose to take Asa away from us. I wish there had been some other way to accomplish His purposes, one that didn't bring us so much pain and one that didn't leave us missing part of our family, a piece of us. Because of the limited view of eternity I have, there is just no way for me to understand.
"But I know who You are"
BUT. I know that He is merciful and gracious and abundant in goodness and truth (Exodus 34:6). I know He is my refuge (Deut. 33:27). I know that He is my strength and my help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). I know He is the strength of my heart and my portion (Psalm 73:26). I know that He is gracious and righteous (Psalm 116:5). I know that He is faithful (1 Cor. 1:9). I know that He is good and does good (Psalm 119:68).
"And You know what it's like to lose
Yeah, You know what it's like
What it's like to lose a child"
I think the first time I heard this song after we said goodbye to Asa was the first time, in my heavy grief, that I thought about the fact that God had also lost a child. He knew just what I was feeling - He has been here.
I'm so thankful for the gift of music and the role it can play in the healing process, and even more thankful for a God who understands my pain.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Asa Michael - Birth Story (Part 2)
When I left off with part 1, we were making our way to the hospital to do the unthinkable: deliver our son who had already gone to be with Jesus. Anthony parked the jeep and we started that long walk to the birthing suite. The whole way I was hoping no one would stop us to talk. I certainly didn't have a belly that was "ready to pop" but it was big enough to know that I was pregnant. Thankfully, no one stopped us. We walked through the lobby, where a man was playing the piano. When the elevator finally came to us, we joined a doctor who was getting off on the second floor. Our stop was the third floor. We got off the elevator and continued on our way, around the corner and to the right, there it was: the heavy, wooden double doors with the black and white "Birthing Suite" sign above. I lost it. I had to stop and lean into Anthony while I cried for the child that would not leave the birthing suite with me.
As we were paused there a hospital worker, a man, came up past us. He was pushing a cart and was also going into the birthing suite. You have to push an intercom button to be let in the doors and since we were stopped he stepped past us to push the button. He told the voice on the other end who he was and he told them someone else was there, I'm sure not really knowing what to make of the situation, and he paused for me to give the name: "Tara Tyler", through my tears. He said "someone to see Tara Tyler", and I managed to get out "It's me" before losing control again. The weight of it all was so heavy on me -- "It's me" -- the thing that you think won't ever happen to you, it happened to me. So he corrected himself to the nurse on the intercom and she buzzed us through.
It was so hard to will my feet to keep going, past the beautiful newborn photographs on the wall, and even harder to pass by the nursery and the patient rooms. In one of them I saw a mother holding her new baby, all bundled up, pink and healthy. We turned left around the corner to go to the nurses station to check in. Of course they knew I was coming then and even if they didn't, I'm sure my tears would have given away my name. They verified some information and weighed me and then led me to the room we would be in. The lady told me she was sorry, gave me a gown to change into, and then went to go try to find a box of tissues for me. It was maybe around 1:30 or 2:00 at this time.
After I got changed and settled into bed, my nurse, Nancy came in. She was with me a long time while I labored with Declan, so I remembered her. She told me that she was so sorry that this happened and let me cry while she hugged me. I'm glad she was my first nurse this time - I only wish she could have been there longer (she got off at 3:00, I think). She tried to get my iv started, but as was the case with all my children, my veins are hard to get. It was even worse than normal this time, I'm sure since I had been crying so much and was probably a little dehydrated. After 3 or 4 nurses had tried, and both arms had been warm-packed, I think it was Summer, the charge nurse, who finally got the iv. So I ended up with bruises on both hands and both "inner elbows" because they had to stick me so many times between trying to get the iv and taking blood. To be honest though, it was a little sad when those bruises disappeared since they were a connection to Asa for me.
After the iv was in, we just were waiting for a while, for Dr. McMillan to come and get things started. That was one of the hard parts of this whole ordeal - the waiting. When Dr. McMillan got there, it was around 4:00pm. He inserted a Cervidil, which is used for ripening the cervix in hopes of starting labor. He chose to go with this method first because it is an insert that is attached to a string (as opposed to a tablet that dissolves), so if contractions were too strong or something was going wrong, they could remove the insert. The Cervidil would stay in for 12 hours. So then it was just the waiting game to see what would happen. So while it was hard just waiting and hoping for something to happen, we also experienced fun and laughter during the waiting, something I can only attribute to the peace and grace of the Lord.
At some point in the afternoon my mom and Ashley had come to the hospital to keep us company. Pastor Don came to see us first and pray with us, and I appreciate that so much. Kay, one of my mom's best friends and a dear friend to us, more like family really (Meme Kay, to my kids) came for a while, as did my amazing friend Summer (Pastor Don's daughter). Summer lost her little boy Tyson to cancer when he was 2 years old. I'm struggling to even find the words to describe how much her visit meant to me. She hugged me for the longest time and cried with me like no one else has. She knew exactly what it was to lose a son and she carried that burden with me. I have a much better understanding now of what Paul was speaking of in 2 Corinthians when he said "that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God".
The evening went on and we watched tv, talked, and played a new game that Anthony found on the ipad called Fun Run. That game brought us a lot of laughter and we are still playing it. :) However, nothing was happening labor-wise. I thought I was never going to be able to sleep that night because the bed was SO not comfortable, but somehow with the aid of 4 or 5 pillows, I was able to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. Of course I was woken up several times throughout the night for the nurses to check my vitals and shortly after 4am the nurse took the Cervidil out and I was still feeling no effects from it. I went back to sleep a while longer and I think it was 7 something when Anthony and I both woke up for the day, anxious and grieved for what it would hold, but still comforted and carried by the Lord.
Part 1
Part 3
As we were paused there a hospital worker, a man, came up past us. He was pushing a cart and was also going into the birthing suite. You have to push an intercom button to be let in the doors and since we were stopped he stepped past us to push the button. He told the voice on the other end who he was and he told them someone else was there, I'm sure not really knowing what to make of the situation, and he paused for me to give the name: "Tara Tyler", through my tears. He said "someone to see Tara Tyler", and I managed to get out "It's me" before losing control again. The weight of it all was so heavy on me -- "It's me" -- the thing that you think won't ever happen to you, it happened to me. So he corrected himself to the nurse on the intercom and she buzzed us through.
It was so hard to will my feet to keep going, past the beautiful newborn photographs on the wall, and even harder to pass by the nursery and the patient rooms. In one of them I saw a mother holding her new baby, all bundled up, pink and healthy. We turned left around the corner to go to the nurses station to check in. Of course they knew I was coming then and even if they didn't, I'm sure my tears would have given away my name. They verified some information and weighed me and then led me to the room we would be in. The lady told me she was sorry, gave me a gown to change into, and then went to go try to find a box of tissues for me. It was maybe around 1:30 or 2:00 at this time.
After I got changed and settled into bed, my nurse, Nancy came in. She was with me a long time while I labored with Declan, so I remembered her. She told me that she was so sorry that this happened and let me cry while she hugged me. I'm glad she was my first nurse this time - I only wish she could have been there longer (she got off at 3:00, I think). She tried to get my iv started, but as was the case with all my children, my veins are hard to get. It was even worse than normal this time, I'm sure since I had been crying so much and was probably a little dehydrated. After 3 or 4 nurses had tried, and both arms had been warm-packed, I think it was Summer, the charge nurse, who finally got the iv. So I ended up with bruises on both hands and both "inner elbows" because they had to stick me so many times between trying to get the iv and taking blood. To be honest though, it was a little sad when those bruises disappeared since they were a connection to Asa for me.
After the iv was in, we just were waiting for a while, for Dr. McMillan to come and get things started. That was one of the hard parts of this whole ordeal - the waiting. When Dr. McMillan got there, it was around 4:00pm. He inserted a Cervidil, which is used for ripening the cervix in hopes of starting labor. He chose to go with this method first because it is an insert that is attached to a string (as opposed to a tablet that dissolves), so if contractions were too strong or something was going wrong, they could remove the insert. The Cervidil would stay in for 12 hours. So then it was just the waiting game to see what would happen. So while it was hard just waiting and hoping for something to happen, we also experienced fun and laughter during the waiting, something I can only attribute to the peace and grace of the Lord.
At some point in the afternoon my mom and Ashley had come to the hospital to keep us company. Pastor Don came to see us first and pray with us, and I appreciate that so much. Kay, one of my mom's best friends and a dear friend to us, more like family really (Meme Kay, to my kids) came for a while, as did my amazing friend Summer (Pastor Don's daughter). Summer lost her little boy Tyson to cancer when he was 2 years old. I'm struggling to even find the words to describe how much her visit meant to me. She hugged me for the longest time and cried with me like no one else has. She knew exactly what it was to lose a son and she carried that burden with me. I have a much better understanding now of what Paul was speaking of in 2 Corinthians when he said "that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God".
The evening went on and we watched tv, talked, and played a new game that Anthony found on the ipad called Fun Run. That game brought us a lot of laughter and we are still playing it. :) However, nothing was happening labor-wise. I thought I was never going to be able to sleep that night because the bed was SO not comfortable, but somehow with the aid of 4 or 5 pillows, I was able to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. Of course I was woken up several times throughout the night for the nurses to check my vitals and shortly after 4am the nurse took the Cervidil out and I was still feeling no effects from it. I went back to sleep a while longer and I think it was 7 something when Anthony and I both woke up for the day, anxious and grieved for what it would hold, but still comforted and carried by the Lord.
Part 1
Part 3
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