Ramblings

So... I know I need to post and seeing that I hate it when blogs I read go untouched for long periods of time, it's not fair for me to do that! I'm sure we have done so many things I could blog about since I last posted, but I'm not sure what to say. So I'll say this:

My heart is full and overflowing with joy right now because I have seen God at work. And I believe I have seen the results of prayer. My prayer life has been one thing that I have always not been happy with and I am trying to change that. Not so much a get down on my knees and pray, but more like an attitude of prayer throughout the day. I hope that I can continue to do this and grow even more in this area of my life.

Through the Beth Moore Bible study we're doing at church, I have been learning a lot. A couple of weeks ago we learned about the story of Zacharias and Elisabeth in Luke 1. They desperately wanted and prayed for a child but they were old and God had not bestowed that blessing upon them. Luke says "they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinance of the Lord blameless". They were doing everything they should be, and still didn't have a child. Well Zacharias was a priest and he had to leave his wife and go to the tabernacle to fulfill his priestly duty. While in the holy place, the angel Gabriel appeared to him and told him that his prayers were heard and his wife would bear a child. After years and years of waiting and longing, they would have a son!

So Beth Moore went on to make the point that sometimes, things don't come easily to us and we don't know why. We might even feel like God is "picking" on us. These things seem to come easy to those around you, but no matter how blameless you are before the Lord, he hasn't granted you the thing you want the most. It is through these times of trial and struggle that we learn more about God and see things that those other people never get to experience. He is not "picking on us"; he has "picked" us to see his work in a way that others don't. That was just the most incredible concept to me.

I have to admit that sometimes, in the past, I have felt resentful toward some people, even my own friends, who seemingly have perfect lives. I hear these people complain about something and I want to invite them to walk a day in my shoes. My teenage sister was pregnant. My mom had breast cancer. My dad walked out on his family. All of this within 2 years. But now I know. I know that if I hadn't had to experience the heartache of having a teenage pregnancy in my family, I would have never seen the way God can use a tiny little girl. He can work through anyone. Had my mom not faced and overcome breast cancer, we might never have known how brave and strong we were and what a source of strength and comfort the Lord is to us. Had my dad not left, I would have never known the reality of Psalm 27:10 - When my father... forsake me, then the Lord will take me up. I wouldn't have known the provision of God at the level I do. And I know there is still more to come in this chapter of my life.

All this to say, I have a new appreciation for the life God has chosen to give me. No, it's not easy, but yes, it is right and it is good. Were these things not completely necessary for the completion of God's plan, he would not have given them to me. And he does not give me more than I can handle. God is so good.